Romantic relationships tend to revolve around power struggles. Even when you manage to resolve a longstanding issue–sex, money, parenting, in-laws, quality time, whatever–another one tends to pop up to take its place. This is because power struggles aren’t really about particular content so much as the need to be right, the need to win. Ultimately, no… CONTINUE
Archives for January 2018
What is Mindfulness?
You have three types of voices in your head: observing, craving, judging. You eat some cake and you notice, this cake is moist. This is your observing voice. Then you think, where can I get more of this delicious cake? This is your craving voice. Three slices of cake later, you conclude I ate too much cake, which means… CONTINUE
Career and Memory Shortcuts
Memory is a funny thing. It tends to use shortcuts. One of these is called the “peak-end” rule. Take your job, for example. You have an overall idea of your job satisfaction, but you don’t remember every day of your job in detail. Instead, your brain remembers the extremes, the “peaks.” It remembers your very… CONTINUE
Working with Anxiety
What’s your pet mental fixation? Money worries? Health concerns? Anger at your spouse? Frustration with your boss? This fussy internal voice chatters at you all day, making noise when you’re stopped at a red light, standing in line at the grocery store, or lying in bed tossing and turning. Chronically visiting and revisiting whatever pet… CONTINUE