If you’ve ever watched a show like Pawn Stars or Antique Roadshow, you’re familiar with this scene: Someone brings in what he thinks to be a priceless family heirloom, only to learn it’s a cheap trinket his grandfather bought at a gas station. Some people accept this new information and get on with their lives…. CONTINUE
Holidays, Family and Personal Responsibility
With the holidays fast approaching, family is likely on your mind. Maybe you look forward to spending time with your family, and maybe you dread it. Therapists talk a lot about dysfunctional families – but at one level, there is no such thing. There are only dysfunctional individuals. Your problem isn’t your crazy family. It’s… CONTINUE
Managing Family and Independence
Should you take your parents’ advice? That depends. Before you answer this question, ask yourself another: How well do you really know your parents? It’s perfectly natural and healthy to go through a phase of feeling like your father is Superman or your mother is Wonder Woman. You idealize your parents in childhood because you… CONTINUE
Overcoming Guilt
Your mother guilts you into attending a family function. Your boss guilts you into working late. What does it mean to be guilted into something? When you do something out of guilt, you’re not doing anyone any favors. Anything done out of guilt leads to resentment. Period. So when you loan your best friend money… CONTINUE
Working Through Family Conflict
There is your family-of-origin, your parents and siblings. Then there is the family you choose, your romantic partner and kids. If you belong to both of these groups, you will inevitably find yourself caught between the two at some point. More often than not, I encourage my clients to align with their chosen family when tensions… CONTINUE
Is Your Belief System Working For You?
You have your own ideas about religion and politics. You have your own definition of honor, fairness, courage, authenticity. You have your personal philosophy regarding relationships, career and family. You have your own belief system. But how do you know if this belief system is really working? After all, a belief system is only as effective as the thoughts, feelings and behaviors… CONTINUE
3 Keys to a Successful Relationship
by James Robbins, M.A., LPC Collectively, my wife and I share about 40 years experience working with couples from all walks of life. We were recently talking shop, discussing what factors we see most consistently in the happiest, healthiest couples. Here are the Big Three: Steady chemical base Here, I’m calling a “chemical” anything you consume. Medication,… CONTINUE
Are Your Values Genuine?
by James Robbins, M.A., LPC What personal values are the most important to you? Love, money, health, kindness, career, spirituality, honesty, family? Now consider this: Does your current life reflect this value? Do your daily behaviors, your daily thoughts and feelings, strongly align with this value? If you spend hours daily thinking about money, worrying… CONTINUE
Holidays and How to Survive Them, Part 2
by James Robbins, M.A., LPC The holidays are like Las Vegas. Lots of drunk people wandering around beer goggling, blinking lights, spending too much money. And then there is the crushing return trip – that head-pounding Monday morning back at work, fatter and poorer than you were before. But these aren’t the only ways the… CONTINUE
Top 10 Family Holiday Survival Tips
To paraphrase Ram Dass, a former clinical psychologist I greatly admire: If you think you’re a reasonable, well-balanced person, try spending a week with your family. To maximize family bonding this holiday season, and to minimize acts of family warfare, keep the following tips in mind when next you sit down between Crazy Uncle Hank… CONTINUE