Used to be when I sat down for a haircut, I’d feel the need to make small talk. I’m not the biggest fan of small talk — but I felt an unspoken obligation to somehow entertain the person cutting my hair. So I’d compulsively chat about the weather, lawn care, freeway traffic patterns, whatever, until the […]
What is Mindfulness?
You have three types of voices in your head: observing, craving, judging. You eat some cake and you notice, this cake is moist. This is your observing voice. Then you think, where can I get more of this delicious cake? This is your craving voice. Three slices of cake later, you conclude I ate too much cake, which means […]
Career and Memory Shortcuts
Memory is a funny thing. It tends to use shortcuts. One of these is called the “peak-end” rule. Take your job, for example. You have an overall idea of your job satisfaction, but you don’t remember every day of your job in detail. Instead, your brain remembers the extremes, the “peaks.” It remembers your very […]
Working with Anxiety
What’s your pet mental fixation? Money worries? Health concerns? Anger at your spouse? Frustration with your boss? This fussy internal voice chatters at you all day, making noise when you’re stopped at a red light, standing in line at the grocery store, or lying in bed tossing and turning. Chronically visiting and revisiting whatever pet […]
Are You Fooling Yourself?
I’m so over it. Anyone who say this is, by definition, not over it. Therapists call this a reaction formation. Suppose you start a new job, only to discover your new boss is kind of an obvious jerk. But now you’re stuck with this guy. So maybe you do your best to convince yourself you admire his arrogance or enjoy his “colorful” […]
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