
The Relationship Health Checklist
- You lead “separate lives” despite sharing a household
- You mostly speak about finances, household chores, and other necessary tasks
- You have sex less than once weekly
- Your partner feels more like a business partner than a romantic partner
- You often find yourself attracted to, or flirting with, members of the opposite sex
- Your relationship is less about passion and enthusiasm, and more about routine and responsibility
- Rather than focusing on specific behaviors–such as wanting your partner to put their clothes away–you generalize, calling your partner “lazy, irresponsible, selfish,” etc.
- You find yourself fantasizing about leaving your relationship
- Your friends and family don’t understand why you are with your partner
- You have tried buying a new house, moving, or having children to “fix” your relationship
- You rarely talk directly about your relationship, unless you are fighting
- You rarely hug, hold hands or touch in a non-sexual way
- Your parents do not/did not have a great relationship
- You find it difficult to discuss sex with your partner
- You feel there is a “power” imbalance in the relationship.
- You fear expressing your real feelings to your partner
- You often find yourself dreading your partner returning home, or dread coming home yourself
- The same fights come up again and again
- Date nights happen infrequently
- Your partner “changed” a few years into the relationship
- You share few interests with your partner
- You find yourself frequently comparing your partner–unfavorably–to a friend or co-worker
- Despite your long-term relationship, you maintain close relationships with members of the opposite sex
- You feel that some degree of dishonesty is a necessary “peacekeeper” in most relationships important
- Since having kids, your sex life “isn’t what it used to be”
- Your often go to someone other than your partner for emotional support
Reference
Schoebi, D., Karney, B. R., & Bradbury, T. N. (2012). What predicts divorce?: The relationship between marital processes and marital outcomes. Journal of Family Psychology, 26(3), 348–358. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0028571