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Does Dishonesty Work?

Dishonesty - Dallas Whole LIfe

May 1, 2019 by James Robbins, M.A., LPC

Is honesty really the best policy? Set aside morality and ethics for a moment. Let’s just consider whether honesty is the best strategy for getting what you want out of life.

Upside of Dishonesty

The main benefit of dishonesty is it gives you a seeming advantage over another person. Take cheating, for example. When you’re in a committed relationship and you engage in infidelity, you have a difficult choice to make. If you are honest with your partner about the infidelity, you risk your partner exiting the relationship. Or your partner may retaliate by having his or her own affair. Ironically, it may seem that dishonesty is your best strategy for preserving the committed relationship. Maybe you hope that, given time, you will eventually learn to be faithful. So dishonesty may seem like a reasonable temporary measure until you sort things out. Dishonesty buys you time, and it seems to give you more control over the situation.

The Cost of Dishonesty

One of the more obvious downsides of dishonesty is that you will almost certainly be found out eventually, and the consequences will probably be worse than they would have been if you were originally forthcoming. But this isn’t the most fundamental downside of dishonesty. When you are dishonest with people, especially those you are closest to, you create a nagging doubt. In the back of your mind there is always a question: Would this person still love me if he or she knew the whole truth? If everyone in my life knew the whole truth about me, would anyone value me or accept me? Over time, the strategy of dishonesty leads to a deep insecurity. You begin to question your own self-worth, wondering if you could ever really get what you want out of life by being 100% authentic.

The Relationship Bank

When you are habitually honest, you feel more secure in your sense of self. And by being more trustworthy, you allow yourself to put more trust in the people you most highly value. That’s what honesty is: Money in the relationship bank. It’s an investment that inevitably grows over time, feeding clean, positive energy into all your relationships and life pursuits.

Filed Under: About Us, Articles, Blog, Education, Inspiration, Inspiration, Newsletter

About James Robbins, M.A., LPC

James Robbins is a licensed professional counselor, published author and co-owner of Dallas Whole Life Counseling. He has over 15 years of experience helping people in various life stages that come from a wide variety of cultural, economic and family backgrounds. Learn more about his background by clicking here.

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  • Using Distraction as an Avoidance of Emotion
  • Tips for Managing Daily Activities while Struggling with Depression
  • Friendships: How to manage your boundaries and enjoy them more!
  • Recognizing Burnout and the Importance of Work-Life Balance

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