Suppose you have a pebble in your shoe. Despite this nagging distraction, you try your best to make your life work. You get a massage, drink a margarita, fall in love, win the lottery. You do what you do, but still there is this pebble in your shoe. Now suppose you’ve always had a pebble… CONTINUE
Mindful Eating, Mindful Living
Mindful eating isn’t so much about what you’re eating. It’s how you go about eating it. When my wife and I lived in the Netherlands, going out to eat was initially a little uncomfortable. Amsterdam is a small city, so space is tight. Many restaurants seated us practically should-to-shoulder with complete strangers. Coming form the… CONTINUE
Compassion: The Key to Self-Growth
When I was ten or so, I heard a story that still sticks with me. A man was on a plane, flying home after traveling all week for work. Utterly exhausted, he hoped to get a couple of hours sleep before returning to his family. Just as he was nodding off, two little girls seated… CONTINUE
Does Success Truly Satisfy?
As a therapist, I’ve had the opportunity to work with individuals who have achieved remarkable success in a variety of life areas. When I consider this collection of unusually successful individuals, I ask myself a question: What is the true value of success? When people achieve their most ambitious goals, they come face-to-face with a… CONTINUE
Why Do People Choose the Wrong Romantic Partners?
“Please accept my resignation. I don’t want to belong to any club that will accept people like me as a member.” When comedian Groucho Marx wrote this, he was expressing a peculiar, yet very common, human trait. A lot of individuals reflexively distrust people that truly appreciate them. As a therapist, I see this a lot… CONTINUE
Does Dishonesty Work?
Is honesty really the best policy? Set aside morality and ethics for a moment. Let’s just consider whether honesty is the best strategy for getting what you want out of life. Upside of Dishonesty The main benefit of dishonesty is it gives you a seeming advantage over another person. Take cheating, for example. When you’re… CONTINUE
Is Being “Special” the Key to Self-Worth?
When I was in my twenties, I did my best to dress like a rock star. I thought of myself as a true original, and I wore clothes I imagined clearly announced my “specialness” to the world around me. I felt superior to people who wore a suit and tie to work. They were just… CONTINUE
When Do You Qualify for Happiness?
When you go to a restaurant, your primary goal is to eat. Maybe your secondary goal is to enjoy the atmosphere. But suppose you go to a restaurant and you get so lost in the atmosphere you forget to eat. You are going to feel dissatisfied, because no amount of atmosphere is ever going to… CONTINUE
Are You Using Positivity or Negativity to Connect with Others?
Put 10 complete strangers in a room together and what happens? Most of them start bonding—but through negativity. Can you believe how hot they keep it in this room? Have you seen the idiots in the room next door? The majority of people find it more comfortable to be against something rather than for something…. CONTINUE
Realizing Your Life Goals: Are You Procrastinating?
Generally speaking, the more ambitious the goal you set, the more likely you are to procrastinate. Suppose you decide to run a marathon. But first you should probably finish that big project at work. Then you’ll need to buy just the right running gear, maybe read a few books on marathon running. And it makes sense… CONTINUE
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