Harry Met Sally . . . Then What?

by James Robbins, M.A., LPC

When was the last time this happened? You come home from a first date. Things are hot and heavy and you’re kissing passionately at your doorstep, nosy neighbors be damned. You fumble blindly behind you, somehow manage to unlock your door, mule kick it open with your new heels. You back into your home, breath ragged, not bothering with the light switch. With one fluid motion you sweep the stuff off your coffee table, where the two of you fall in an animal heap to make love for the first time while unseen angelic choirs sing Britney Spear’s songs.

And scene.

This has never happened to you because this has never happened to anyone not standing on a Hollywood sound stage. This is Hollywood’s way of quickly communicating to viewers that a couple is passionate about their new relationship. It’s what you call a storytelling “trope.” But it isn’t real life. And the coffee table? Really? What did your coffee table ever do to deserve this sort of treatment?

So many of our ideas about dating, romance, marriage and parenting are fed to us, again and again, by Hollywood. Take a moment and consider these major life events: child birth, wedding, funeral. How many images that come to mind are from the TV or movie screen? No matter how many real life weddings you’ve attended, you’ve probably watched way more on TV. Consider this: Many of the ideas you hold dear about romantic relationships were likely penned by an unmarried 24 year old male with a bad haircut.

Next time you’re watching your favorite show or movie, ask yourself how you are being manipulated. This is the job of drama: to help you feel things. Nothing wrong with this, so long as you realize you’re responding to a Hollywood formula–not necessarily deep insights about real life.

If you want to know more about parenting, spend time with real parents. And marriage? Don’t “research” it by watching rom-coms. Take a trip to the Costco with a married couple while they buy toilet paper in bulk. Real life is real. Enjoy it, squeeze it, roll around in it. Just not on your coffee table.

About the Author: James Robbins is a licensed professional counselor, published author and co-owner of Dallas Whole Life Counseling. He has over 15 years of experience helping people in various life stages that come from a wide variety of cultural, economic and family backgrounds. Learn more about his background by clicking here.

Jonathan Anderson 12 months ago

I have known James for over twenty years and wholeheartedly vouch for him as an exceptional therapist and business coach. He is one of the most intelligent and compassionate people I have seen in my 25 years as a mental health provider and corporate coach. James has a remarkable talent for identifying and leveraging individuals' natural strengths, crafting interventions that empower rather than foster dependency on therapy. Beyond his professional skill, James incorporates a disarming sense of humor, creating an atmosphere where clients feel at ease.

James is talented therapist who works confidently with depression, anxiety and trauma, and who particularly excels as a couples therapist and business/corporate coach. He has a unique ability to help couples build skills that provide insight and connection while still challenging each person to manage issues in their "blind spots.”

His skill with relationship building extends to business relationships, leadership and growth. A business owner himself, James' insight into how companies evolve and thrive allows entrepreneurs to quickly understand what is needed thrive and how to incorporate those strategies.

James has owned and managed Dallas Whole Life for over 20 years and he ensures a commitment to excellence by assembling a team of top-tier mental health professionals that includes counselors, psychologists and coaches. Dallas Whole Life is a well-respected practice in the DFW area and has been featured in the Dallas Morning News, and several local and national tv and radio media outlets.

I do not hesitate to refer people to Dallas Whole Life for their virtual therapy and coaching needs.

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Kristen O'Neill 2 year ago

This is a wonderful practice and I consider myself very lucky to have found them. I saw James for a while out of network and he was worth his weight in gold. I truly appreciated the methods used as they really did help me to grow. James was perfectly compassionate and direct and I would highly recommend him to anyone.

Dallas Wholelife Counseling 3 year ago

I would like to say after working in this field for a while I absolutely love working at Dallas Whole Life , the owners Dr Heather and James Robbins actually care about connecting you with the right therapists , so your needs are met. , They are definitely in this business to help others. Our therapists are the best ! I cant say enough about the therapists , the owners and the difference we want to make , Its a great place to be !!!! Betsy Carter

Donald James Wall 4 year ago

Dallas Whole Life Counseling, has been a useful resource for me. In offering online appointments, Dallas Whole Life makes practicing mindfulness simple. Steve is the associate I speak with and he's as dynamic as he is resourceful. I highly recommend the Dallas Whole Life experience.

Tina Dunne 7 year ago

I have had an excellent experience with Steve Reedy. What initially began as couples' therapy transitioned into personal therapy that helped me address deep-seated issues that have negatively impacted my life for many years. Steve wasn't confrontational and didn't lecture me what my issues were. Instead, he helped lead me until I had those "ah ha" moments of self discovery. As a result of Steve''s counseling, I have a whole new, positive attitude about myself, which has changed the way I interact with others as well. Pursuing counseling with Steve has been one of the most rewarding experiences in my life journey. I wholeheartedly recommend Steve.

Nicolette Mechem 10 year ago

I have been a client of both James and Heather Robbins for 4 years now. Initially, I sought therapy to address a difficult situation at the time. However, my experience was so positive that I have continued on as a client. I would say that without a doubt the advice and council I have received has improved the quality of my life significantly. James and Heather have a demeanor and style that is extremely versatile and appealing to all. In fact, when I got engaged I encouraged my fiance start seeing James. My fiance was not a believer in therapy and had never been to see a psychologist before. He found Jame's advice to be so impactful that he now has a regular appointment with him and looks forward to their conversations.
It is a unique offering to be able to get couple's therapy from a very happily married couple. My fiance and I are very appreciative of all the help James and Heather have given our relationship.

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