Your mother guilts you into attending a family function. Your boss guilts you into working late. What does it mean to be guilted into something? When you do something out of guilt, you’re not doing anyone any favors. Anything done out of guilt leads to resentment. Period. So when you loan your best friend money […]
Is There an Upside to Anger?
If you could wave a magic wand and remove all your anger, would you? In my clinical experience, I hear a lot of people say they would like to be less angry. At the same time, many of these people resist concrete steps that would actually reduce their anger. How do you benefit from your anger? Do […]
Working Through Family Conflict
There is your family-of-origin, your parents and siblings. Then there is the family you choose, your romantic partner and kids. If you belong to both of these groups, you will inevitably find yourself caught between the two at some point. More often than not, I encourage my clients to align with their chosen family when tensions […]
Are You Playing Whack-a-Mole with Your Life?
Most people are waiting on something. Better job, financial freedom, better relationship, improved health, completion of a stressful project. Maybe the thing you’re waiting on will happen, maybe not. But even when you do finally complete that stressful project, for instance, what then? Then something else comes up. It’s like the whack-a-mole game: smack down […]
Is Your Belief System Working For You?
You have your own ideas about religion and politics. You have your own definition of honor, fairness, courage, authenticity. You have your personal philosophy regarding relationships, career and family. You have your own belief system. But how do you know if this belief system is really working? After all, a belief system is only as effective as the thoughts, feelings and behaviors […]
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