by James Robbins, M.A., LPC When we don’t get what we want from our romantic partner, we tend to punish him or her. It’s our way of “training” our partner to better meet our wants and needs. We withhold sex and affection. We become emotionally unavailable, spend more time at the office. We criticize, complain, […]
Scheduling Bad Behavior
by James Robbins, M.A., LPC When are you next scheduled to misbehave? And by “misbehave,” I mean drink too much, eat too much, lie to your spouse, lose your temper–whatever bad habits you’re trying to work through. Probably you don’t have these items on your official “to do” list. Yet, they still get done, and […]
Letting Go of Guilt
by James Robbins, M.A., LPC When you blame yourself, you experience it as guilt. When you blame someone else, you experience it as resentment. Guilt and resentment are equally exhausting and self-defeating. Both arise from the human tendency to oversimplify events, to assume suffering is caused by some identifiable human mistake or poor decision. You only feel guilty to […]
More Money, More Problems?
by James Robbins, M.A., LPC As a therapist, I’ve been fortunate enough to work with clients from all over the world, and from a very wide variety of economic backgrounds. These days, a lot of my clients are what I call 3 percenters. Who are the 3 percenters? Individuals who make 100k or more annually are […]
Chasing the Next Big Thing
by James Robbins, M.A., LPC Not getting what you want doesn’t make you happy. Obviously. But neither does getting what you want. It’s human nature to focus on the Next Big Thing. A wedding, a promotion, a cross-country move. You’re waiting for that thing to happen because then life will be better. And life probably […]
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