What does it mean to be defensive? You have your personal story. I’m a hard working person just trying to avoid drama. Or I’m a kind and nurturing person who gets taken advantage of. You’ve cobbled together your story over time, you’ve worked hard to build this thing from the rubble of your life experience,… CONTINUE
Is Your Phone a Symptom?
I don’t have a cell phone. Once in a blue moon, like when I lock myself out of my car or home, I rethink this decision. For the past decade or so, I’ve considered getting a phone to leave in my car for emergency purposes. Yet somehow, I never quite get around to it. I’m… CONTINUE
What is the Root of Your Problems?
When Obama was elected, half of my clients felt the world was coming to an end. When Trump was elected, the other half of my clients felt the same way. Yet here we are. Earth still spins on its axis. Your dental hygienist still gripes at you for not flossing enough. It’s human nature to… CONTINUE
Are You Living an Idea or an Experience?
Most people live the majority of their lives through ideas rather than direct experience. When I was younger, I had the idea that I liked camping. When I was a child, I did like camping so it gathers I did. However, as I grew older, some of the magic had worn off, only I hadn’t… CONTINUE
Why Do You Like What You Like?
Comedian Chris Rock says your favorite music is the music you were listening to at the point in your life when you first began having sex. I’m not so sure about the sex part, but the music you listen to as a teenager tends to make a powerful imprint. It’s a dizzying collision of hormones… CONTINUE
Are You Adding an Unnecessary Soundtrack to Your Life Experiences?
When I was a music teacher, I would give my students this assignment: Watch a scary movie, but with the sound off. Jaws, Psycho, Friday the 13th. Watch one of these movies on mute and you realize that the images, by themselves, aren’t nearly so terrifying. Without creepy music and sound effects to take hold… CONTINUE
You Get What You Give – Finding Happiness in Your Relationship
You want more from your romantic partner in your relationship. More time, more attention, more respect, more love, more understanding. How do you get your romantic partner to give you more of what you need and want? You give your partner more of what he or she needs and wants. Most couples go in the… CONTINUE
Romantic Relationships and Family Stunt Doubles
Romantic relationships are shaped by family history–sometimes in seemingly crazy-making ways. Suppose your mother was a talented cook, and you have fond childhood memories of spending time with her in the kitchen. It would make sense if, as an adult in a romantic relationship, you enjoy preparing meals for you and your partner. This is… CONTINUE
What’s it Really Worth?
If you’ve ever watched a show like Pawn Stars or Antique Roadshow, you’re familiar with this scene: Someone brings in what he thinks to be a priceless family heirloom, only to learn it’s a cheap trinket his grandfather bought at a gas station. Some people accept this new information and get on with their lives…. CONTINUE
Are You Dreaming on the Job?
Have you ever had this dream? You’re back in school, trying to find your old classroom. When you finally manage to tuck yourself back into your old desk, you’re staring at an exam for which you didn’t prepare. To make matters worse, the words keep squirming around on the page, or your pencil turns into… CONTINUE
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