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Two Keys to a Successful Relationship

Man and a Woman with Their Heads Together Smiling

July 9, 2012 by James Robbins, M.A., LPC

James Robbins

My wife and I recently celebrated our 22nd Anniversary. (10 years of dating, 12 years of marriage.) We’ve been through a lot over these two-plus decades—and really, who hasn’t? But this much is certain: We now enjoy more peacefulness, passion and spiritual connection within our relationship than ever before. So what’s our secret?

First, we consistently and unflinchingly prioritize our relationship above everything else. And I mean everything. Career, family, friends, even physical health—these take a decided backseat to our relationship. When faced with any major life decision, the first thing I consider is how my choices might affect my marriage.

Second, we no longer play the Blame Game. When I am annoyed with my wife, I don’t spend too much time trying to sort out why she is being annoying. Neither do I spend much energy wondering if there is some way I can better shape or manipulate her out of whatever annoying behavior. Rather, I ask myself, “What insecurity in me is my wife triggering right now? What annoying aspect of myself is she reflecting back to me?” Because Heather can’t push my buttons if I no longer have buttons.

On the behalf of the entire team at Dallas Whole Life Counseling, I wish you the very best in whatever relationship you currently find yourself.

Filed Under: Blog, Newsletter Tagged With: anniversary, community, counseling, couples, Dallas Whole Life Counseling, dating, DWL, family, health, husband, insecurity, James Robbins, marriage, newsletter, opinion, priority, relationships, successful relationship, wife

About James Robbins, M.A., LPC

James Robbins is a licensed professional counselor, published author and co-owner of Dallas Whole Life Counseling. He has over 15 years of experience helping people in various life stages that come from a wide variety of cultural, economic and family backgrounds. Learn more about his background by clicking here.

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Latest Blog Posts

  • Practicing Vulnerability in Your Relationships
  • What is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy?
  • Using Distraction as an Avoidance of Emotion
  • Tips for Managing Daily Activities while Struggling with Depression
  • Friendships: How to manage your boundaries and enjoy them more!

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Mondays: 9:00AM – 8:00 PM
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Sundays: Closed

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13355 Noel Road, Suite 1100
Dallas, Texas 75240
*Licensed phone and video sessions available in Texas.

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