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Changing versus Accepting

October 2, 2017 by James Robbins, M.A., LPC

Suppose you want to eat less chocolate cake. You can put 100% energy and focus into this issue. You can read about the hazards of chocolate cake. You can visit with a nutritionist. You can keep the refrigerator stocked with vegetables. Or you can go the other way. You can recognize that eating chocolate cake effects your life in specific ways. You can accept the fact that eating chocolate cake prevents you from maintaining your ideal weight, or that it may increase your risk of diabetes, etc. You admit the various health issues that accompany chocolate cake, but you fully commit nonetheless. You decide that you enjoy eating chocolate cake enough that it’s worth the risk.

Either way works. Because ultimately, it’s not about whether you eat the cake. It’s about resolving your internal conflict, the one that spins round and round every time you’re in front of chocolate cake. Eat the cake, don’t eat the cake, eat the cake, don’t eat the cake . . . You seek relief from this constant tension. But relief happens when your behavior matches your values, and not a moment before. Change the behavior or honestly reassess your value system.

Filed Under: Articles, Blog, Education, Mindfulness, Newsletter Tagged With: behavior, change, James Robbins, mindfulness, value system, values

About James Robbins, M.A., LPC

James Robbins is a licensed professional counselor, published author and co-owner of Dallas Whole Life Counseling. He has over 15 years of experience helping people in various life stages that come from a wide variety of cultural, economic and family backgrounds. Learn more about his background by clicking here.

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  • What is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy?
  • Using Distraction as an Avoidance of Emotion
  • Tips for Managing Daily Activities while Struggling with Depression
  • Friendships: How to manage your boundaries and enjoy them more!
  • Recognizing Burnout and the Importance of Work-Life Balance

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