By Charles Jarvis, LMHC
One thing is definitive – many people are still struggling – and so did their relationships. In the wake of the pandemic, we are seeing divorce rates on the rise. In our relationships we like to think that we will band together with our partner no matter what – but until we’re faced with an extreme situation, it is hard to know how you and your partner will react. I have seen numerous couples drift apart during this time. Just because a relationship doesn’t work during a global disaster, you are not a bad or unlovable person. No one has seen a catastrophe like this in living history, and it’s ok to feel defeated or lost.
However, there are some tips and tricks to focus on learning to grow and move forward in your journey.
What kind of person would you like to be? Keep in mind in a state of crisis, like a global disaster, we as people tend to coast through life, surviving each obstacle as it presents. But that’s not living, that’s surviving, and if you’re anything like me it’s not for you. So what makes you, you? What is going well? What needs improvement? This is your time, make it count.
Make Reasonable Goals
Now that you have a direction in who you want to be, how do you get there? What are some actionable items, whether alone, together, or recently single that could be completed for betterment? Take each day as if it were a stepping stone to a better future. You will start to enjoy yourself, value your time, and expand with each success.
Think about the things you did for your spouse, good and bad. These things are ok, however can be redefined into something different. People work in patterns, and it is common to jump from one relationship into another – which has similarities. But you deserve better, you deserve to be you, and deserve to be happy. Enjoy it, remake yourself and move forward.
You have been given an opportunity – which I’d wager you have been thinking about for some time. Enjoy your time with you, truth is you are stuck with yourself for some time anyways.
Charles Jarvis is a licensed mental health counselor practicing in Massachusetts with a master’s degree in counseling psychology. He has been working in mental health since 2008 and has held a variety of critical roles. As a community hospital site manager, he has a specialized focus on those in the community experiencing mental health crises. In addition, he has worked in outpatient therapy, day, and community programs as well as specializing in populations with life-threatening symptoms. He enjoys talking to people with an aim to support his clients in their goal to achieve a better life experience.