I had a cat who compulsively pawed at her own shadow on the wall. Sometimes this habit seemed to entertain her. Sometimes it seemed to frighten her. The thing was, however frantically she pawed at that shadow, it pawed back just as frantically. My cat never seemed to figure out that the only way to… CONTINUE
Making Peace with Your Choices
You have a day off from your stressful job. Part of you wants to spend the day at the park relaxing. The other part of you feels like you should stay home and clean out your garage. So you go to the park, but the whole time you’re thinking you should have stayed home to… CONTINUE
Three Keys to Practicing Forgiveness
When a loved one hurts you or betrays your trust, it can be extremely difficult to extend forgiveness. True forgiveness isn’t about “being the better person.” In fact, anything that puts you in a one up position relative to the other person is the opposite of forgiveness. What are the keys to genuinely forgiving someone… CONTINUE
How Counseling Can Provide an Opportunity to Re-establish Christian Faith
One of the most confusing things for a Christian is when they experience anxiety or depression symptoms and wonder where God is. Generally speaking, when a person comes into relationship with God they experience an initial elevation of hope, joy and peace over their newfound identity in Christ. As time progresses, many Christians then go… CONTINUE
When in Doubt, Choose Connectedness
Like it or not, you are connected at an intimate biological level with everyone that comes across your path. Suppose I find myself on an elevator with a stranger. Maybe I’m feeling stressed that day, so my breathing is faster, more shallow. I’m nervously shifting from foot to foot. Studies show that this tends to… CONTINUE
Mindful Eating, Mindful Living
Mindful eating isn’t so much about what you’re eating. It’s how you go about eating it. When my wife and I lived in the Netherlands, going out to eat was initially a little uncomfortable. Amsterdam is a small city, so space is tight. Many restaurants seated us practically should-to-shoulder with complete strangers. Coming form the… CONTINUE
Compassion: The Key to Self-Growth
When I was ten or so, I heard a story that still sticks with me. A man was on a plane, flying home after traveling all week for work. Utterly exhausted, he hoped to get a couple of hours sleep before returning to his family. Just as he was nodding off, two little girls seated… CONTINUE
Does Success Truly Satisfy?
As a therapist, I’ve had the opportunity to work with individuals who have achieved remarkable success in a variety of life areas. When I consider this collection of unusually successful individuals, I ask myself a question: What is the true value of success? When people achieve their most ambitious goals, they come face-to-face with a… CONTINUE
Does Dishonesty Work?
Is honesty really the best policy? Set aside morality and ethics for a moment. Let’s just consider whether honesty is the best strategy for getting what you want out of life. Upside of Dishonesty The main benefit of dishonesty is it gives you a seeming advantage over another person. Take cheating, for example. When you’re… CONTINUE
Is Being “Special” the Key to Self-Worth?
When I was in my twenties, I did my best to dress like a rock star. I thought of myself as a true original, and I wore clothes I imagined clearly announced my “specialness” to the world around me. I felt superior to people who wore a suit and tie to work. They were just… CONTINUE
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