I don’t have a cell phone. Once in a blue moon, like when I lock myself out of my car or home, I rethink this decision. For the past decade or so, I’ve considered getting a phone to leave in my car for emergency purposes. Yet somehow, I never quite get around to it. I’m… CONTINUE
What is the Root of Your Problems?
When Obama was elected, half of my clients felt the world was coming to an end. When Trump was elected, the other half of my clients felt the same way. Yet here we are. Earth still spins on its axis. Your dental hygienist still gripes at you for not flossing enough. It’s human nature to… CONTINUE
You Get What You Give – Finding Happiness in Your Relationship
You want more from your romantic partner in your relationship. More time, more attention, more respect, more love, more understanding. How do you get your romantic partner to give you more of what you need and want? You give your partner more of what he or she needs and wants. Most couples go in the… CONTINUE
What’s it Really Worth?
If you’ve ever watched a show like Pawn Stars or Antique Roadshow, you’re familiar with this scene: Someone brings in what he thinks to be a priceless family heirloom, only to learn it’s a cheap trinket his grandfather bought at a gas station. Some people accept this new information and get on with their lives…. CONTINUE
Are You Dreaming on the Job?
Have you ever had this dream? You’re back in school, trying to find your old classroom. When you finally manage to tuck yourself back into your old desk, you’re staring at an exam for which you didn’t prepare. To make matters worse, the words keep squirming around on the page, or your pencil turns into… CONTINUE
How Do You Find What You’re Looking For?
You come home from a long day, sit down on the couch and relax into some television. A couple of hours later, you realize you’ve misplaced your car keys. You assume they must be in the couch. You dig around beneath the cushions. You lift up the couch and poke your head underneath. Still no… CONTINUE
Personal Limits and Hidden Benefits
Imagine two professional shoplifters. One is agile, the other clumsy. Both do their best to steal as much as possible, but the agile thief is much better at his trade. Which shoplifter is more ethical? You could say the less skilled thief is more ethical, albeit by accident. He manages to steal less, so he… CONTINUE
Want to Drink Less Alcohol? Making Lasting Changes by Crowding Out.
Crowd out, don’t cut out. This is a core strategy of Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT). It’s a way of facilitating positive change in your life, especially when it comes to letting go of unwanted habits. Suppose I say to you, “Do whatever you’d like, just don’t think about a red-eyed polar bear.” Now all… CONTINUE
Should You Go Above and Beyond in Your Interactions?
Used to be when I sat down for a haircut, I’d feel the need to make small talk. I’m not the biggest fan of small talk — but I felt an unspoken obligation to somehow entertain the person cutting my hair. So I’d compulsively chat about the weather, lawn care, freeway traffic patterns, whatever, until the… CONTINUE
What is Mindfulness?
You have three types of voices in your head: observing, craving, judging. You eat some cake and you notice, this cake is moist. This is your observing voice. Then you think, where can I get more of this delicious cake? This is your craving voice. Three slices of cake later, you conclude I ate too much cake, which means… CONTINUE
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