As a therapist, I often ask myself a fundamental question: Is there some essential trait or circumstance that my happiest, most well-adjusted clients have in common? It’s certainly not financial success or professional accomplishments. It’s not religious affiliation, or lack thereof. It’s not physical beauty or even health. It’s not having a big supportive family or being… CONTINUE
Managing your Chronic Worry
I have a lousy clothes dryer. When I load it with wet towels, they tumble around for hours and hours, but nothing especially useful happens. The anxious mind works like this. Worrisome thoughts spin round and round, round and round, but they never really get “dry.” More thinking is rarely the answer. Identifying Categories Anxious… CONTINUE
Learning from Two Kinds of Teachers
Learning is a lifelong process. Much of what you learn, you learn from other people. Throughout your life, you will encounter two kinds of teachers: subject area teachers and Big Picture teachers. Subject Area Teachers Suppose you are passionate about baking pies. So you seek out a subject area mentor. You find someone who has… CONTINUE
Scripture-Based Perspectives on Anxiety and Depression for Christians
God invites all of us to come into the safe harbor with Him where we can establish a secure attachment to a loving Parent. Most of us, even those of us with the best parents, usually struggle with some form of insecurity. Anxiety at its core is insecurity. Insecurity comes in many shapes and forms. … CONTINUE
What Can You Learn from Your Best (and Worst) Relationships?
I had a cat who compulsively pawed at her own shadow on the wall. Sometimes this habit seemed to entertain her. Sometimes it seemed to frighten her. The thing was, however frantically she pawed at that shadow, it pawed back just as frantically. My cat never seemed to figure out that the only way to… CONTINUE
Making Peace with Your Choices
You have a day off from your stressful job. Part of you wants to spend the day at the park relaxing. The other part of you feels like you should stay home and clean out your garage. So you go to the park, but the whole time you’re thinking you should have stayed home to… CONTINUE
Three Keys to Practicing Forgiveness
When a loved one hurts you or betrays your trust, it can be extremely difficult to extend forgiveness. True forgiveness isn’t about “being the better person.” In fact, anything that puts you in a one up position relative to the other person is the opposite of forgiveness. What are the keys to genuinely forgiving someone… CONTINUE
How Counseling Can Provide an Opportunity to Re-establish Christian Faith
One of the most confusing things for a Christian is when they experience anxiety or depression symptoms and wonder where God is. Generally speaking, when a person comes into relationship with God they experience an initial elevation of hope, joy and peace over their newfound identity in Christ. As time progresses, many Christians then go… CONTINUE
When in Doubt, Choose Connectedness
Like it or not, you are connected at an intimate biological level with everyone that comes across your path. Suppose I find myself on an elevator with a stranger. Maybe I’m feeling stressed that day, so my breathing is faster, more shallow. I’m nervously shifting from foot to foot. Studies show that this tends to… CONTINUE
Mindful Eating, Mindful Living
Mindful eating isn’t so much about what you’re eating. It’s how you go about eating it. When my wife and I lived in the Netherlands, going out to eat was initially a little uncomfortable. Amsterdam is a small city, so space is tight. Many restaurants seated us practically should-to-shoulder with complete strangers. Coming form the… CONTINUE
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