by James Robbins, M.A., LPC At one level, a headache–or back ache or neck ache–isn’t something that happens to you. It’s something you do to yourself, albeit unintentionally. A famous therapist, Fritz Perls, would redirect clients complaining of a headache. He would have them instead say, “I am hurting myself with my head.” Next time […]
Is Your Partner a Stupid Poopy Face?
by James Robbins, M.A., LPC For better or worse, your first model for Romantic Relationship comes from your parents or childhood caregivers. It’s not what they say about relationships that shapes you, but what they don’t say. Every family has unspoken rules. We don’t address conflict directly. Men sometimes yell and break things. Mothers worry […]
Does Spanking Work?
by James Robbins, M.A., LPC 75% of Americans spank their children. But does it work? Before I answer this question, let me pose another. Suppose you’re going to buy a new TV. What do you do first? You google it. You research different TVs. It’s a big purchase, and you’re not going to spend your […]
Cheating, Road Rage, and Personal Accountability
by James Robbins, M.A., LPC It’s hard to argue with the Golden Rule. You do stuff unto others, they do the same stuff unto you. So treat people like you want to be treated. You don’t have to be religious to appreciate this simple wisdom. But what happens when you turn this idea around? Most […]
How Hard Should I Try?
by James Robbins, M.A., LPC You see a cave man trying to start a fire. He’s banging a rock in the palm of his hand, waiting for sparks. You don’t tell him to “try harder.” You tell him to try something else. Pay attention, follow through, be reasonable, grow up. These are all just versions […]
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