It often seems as if a third party is disrupting a couple’s relationship bond. The most concrete example of this is a love triangle in which one member has an affair. But there are other kinds of “love triangles” in which the third party is much less obvious than a direct romantic or sexual rival. […]
Balancing Your Relationship
In most romantic relationships, there are two roles: the pursuer and the pursued. When these roles are out of balance, the relationship suffers. The pursuer wants more togetherness. She wants more quality time with her partner, more communication, more physical and emotional closeness. She wants more commitment, and often feels she isn’t the main priority […]
What is Active Listening?
As a general rule, being a good listener will do more for you than being a good talker. One key to effective listening is using reflective, or mirroring statements. Suppose you call your credit card company to dispute a charge. The customer service rep does not immediately say, “We apologize for our mistake, as we […]
Is Email Really Worth It?
Email represents a major step forward in human communication, and has made all of our lives much more convenient and efficient. Right? Twenty years or so ago when email started to take over the world, it seemed to promise a new era of time-saving correspondence. If you wanted to communicate with someone on the other side of […]
Is Communication Really the Problem?
by James Robbins, M.A., LPC In the fifteen years I’ve been working with couples, the vast majority of initial couples sessions begin the same way. We’ve been together X years, and we really love each other. When things are good, they’re really good–but when things are bad they’re really bad. Lately, small fights turns into […]