by James Robbins, M.A., LPC A sincere apology is always a good place to start, but “making amends” is even better. Suppose you bark at your spouse for no good reason. Try this: Own your mistake. Simply say “‘I’m sorry I was irritable earlier. I realize it upsets you when I raise my voice.” […]
10 Red Flags When Dating a New Partner
1. He describes himself as a “momma’s boy.” She describes herself as a “daddy’s girl.” 2. He or she is married or “in the process of divorcing” when you begin dating. 3. This person complains often. Bad boss, crazy ex, selfish friends, whatever. Date this person long enough, and you will certainly find yourself added to […]
What’s the Best Way to Influence Your Romantic Partner?
by James Robbins, M.A., LPC When we don’t get what we want from our romantic partner, we tend to punish him or her. It’s our way of “training” our partner to better meet our wants and needs. We withhold sex and affection. We become emotionally unavailable, spend more time at the office. We criticize, complain, […]
3 Keys to a Successful Relationship
by James Robbins, M.A., LPC Collectively, my wife and I share about 40 years experience working with couples from all walks of life. We were recently talking shop, discussing what factors we see most consistently in the happiest, healthiest couples. Here are the Big Three: Steady chemical base Here, I’m calling a “chemical” anything you consume. Medication, […]
When Someone Mistreats You, How Do You Move On?
by James Robbins, M.A., LPC Forgiveness doesn’t work. Neither does forgetting. Why? Because both assume you have been wronged, and that you’re doing someone else a favor by not punishing them for it. “I forgive you ” really means We both know you did something bad, but I am choosing not to give you the […]
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