Most close relationships are sabotaged to one degree or another by power struggles. This is especially true when it comes to family and romantic partners. A power struggle is focused on winning–even when “winning” requires self-defeating behaviors. You prefer Tex-Mex food, your partner prefers Italian. But the two of you rarely go out for Tex-Mex, because […]
Surviving an Affair
Learning your partner has cheated on you is a woozy blow to the gut. Can a committed, long-term relationship really survive an affair? Without a doubt. In fact, many relationships come back from infidelity stronger than ever. Affairs bring issues long swept beneath the relationship rug out into the light of day. How you deal with […]
Making Amends
by James Robbins, M.A., LPC A sincere apology is always a good place to start, but “making amends” is even better. Suppose you bark at your spouse for no good reason. Try this: Own your mistake. Simply say “‘I’m sorry I was irritable earlier. I realize it upsets you when I raise my voice.” […]
10 Red Flags When Dating a New Partner
1. He describes himself as a “momma’s boy.” She describes herself as a “daddy’s girl.” 2. He or she is married or “in the process of divorcing” when you begin dating. 3. This person complains often. Bad boss, crazy ex, selfish friends, whatever. Date this person long enough, and you will certainly find yourself added to […]
What’s the Best Way to Influence Your Romantic Partner?
by James Robbins, M.A., LPC When we don’t get what we want from our romantic partner, we tend to punish him or her. It’s our way of “training” our partner to better meet our wants and needs. We withhold sex and affection. We become emotionally unavailable, spend more time at the office. We criticize, complain, […]
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