In my undergraduate years, by day I studied classical music at the University of Texas at Austin. By night I played in a big-haired rock band. Having the freedom to move between these two musical worlds, I noticed something interesting. The most talented musicians of either style, classical or rock, tended to appreciate the widest […]
Is Marriage the Key to Happiness?
Study after study indicates that marriage, or married people, tend to be happier than non-married people. But this is a correlation–not a statement of cause and effect. You could assume that marriage makes people happy–or you could assume that happy people are more likely to marry. Whatever the case, I don’t suggest waiting on a […]
Who Wins the Power Struggle?
Most close relationships are sabotaged to one degree or another by power struggles. This is especially true when it comes to family and romantic partners. A power struggle is focused on winning–even when “winning” requires self-defeating behaviors. You prefer Tex-Mex food, your partner prefers Italian. But the two of you rarely go out for Tex-Mex, because […]
Surviving an Affair
Learning your partner has cheated on you is a woozy blow to the gut. Can a committed, long-term relationship really survive an affair? Without a doubt. In fact, many relationships come back from infidelity stronger than ever. Affairs bring issues long swept beneath the relationship rug out into the light of day. How you deal with […]
Making Amends
by James Robbins, M.A., LPC A sincere apology is always a good place to start, but “making amends” is even better. Suppose you bark at your spouse for no good reason. Try this: Own your mistake. Simply say “‘I’m sorry I was irritable earlier. I realize it upsets you when I raise my voice.” […]
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