From time to time you have a-ha moments. You can’t exactly make them happen. You can’t necessarily avoid them. There’s an element of surprise, of sudden understanding–hence a-ha! Suppose you’re confused about how modern lighting works. You think that a magic spell makes your light bulb turn on when you flip the switch. Then someone […]
Want to Drink Less Alcohol? Making Lasting Changes by Crowding Out.
Crowd out, don’t cut out. This is a core strategy of Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT). It’s a way of facilitating positive change in your life, especially when it comes to letting go of unwanted habits. Suppose I say to you, “Do whatever you’d like, just don’t think about a red-eyed polar bear.” Now all […]
What is Mindfulness?
You have three types of voices in your head: observing, craving, judging. You eat some cake and you notice, this cake is moist. This is your observing voice. Then you think, where can I get more of this delicious cake? This is your craving voice. Three slices of cake later, you conclude I ate too much cake, which means […]
Working with Anxiety
What’s your pet mental fixation? Money worries? Health concerns? Anger at your spouse? Frustration with your boss? This fussy internal voice chatters at you all day, making noise when you’re stopped at a red light, standing in line at the grocery store, or lying in bed tossing and turning. Chronically visiting and revisiting whatever pet […]
Holidays, Family and Personal Responsibility
With the holidays fast approaching, family is likely on your mind. Maybe you look forward to spending time with your family, and maybe you dread it. Therapists talk a lot about dysfunctional families – but at one level, there is no such thing. There are only dysfunctional individuals. Your problem isn’t your crazy family. It’s […]
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