Have you ever spent an afternoon having pleasant thoughts about someone, only to spend the evening having not-so-pleasant thoughts about that same person? Have you ever done a kind deed one day, only to follow up with a not-so-kind deed the next day? Of course you have. Inconsistency is part of being human. You are […]
Insecure Versus Confident Groups
In my undergraduate years, by day I studied classical music at the University of Texas at Austin. By night I played in a big-haired rock band. Having the freedom to move between these two musical worlds, I noticed something interesting. The most talented musicians of either style, classical or rock, tended to appreciate the widest […]
Taking Responsibility for Anger
What does an angry adult have in common with a teething baby? Both need something to chew on. Angry people imagine they get angry in response to their life experience. People disappoint, life takes unexpected turns. Suffering happens, and an angry person reacts, telling himself/herself that everything would be okay if only unpleasant or unfair things […]
Top 10 TV Tropes
Sometimes TV reflects reality. Sometimes it doesn’t. As a viewer inevitably being “programmed” by your favorite TV shows, it’s important to know the difference. Here are a few things that happen in TV-World that don’t usually happen in real life. You’re asked to give a eulogy for someone you barely knew. You pretend to be […]
Who Wins the Power Struggle?
Most close relationships are sabotaged to one degree or another by power struggles. This is especially true when it comes to family and romantic partners. A power struggle is focused on winning–even when “winning” requires self-defeating behaviors. You prefer Tex-Mex food, your partner prefers Italian. But the two of you rarely go out for Tex-Mex, because […]
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