Your mother guilts you into attending a family function. Your boss guilts you into working late. What does it mean to be guilted into something? When you do something out of guilt, you’re not doing anyone any favors. Anything done out of guilt leads to resentment. Period. So when you loan your best friend money… CONTINUE
Is There an Upside to Anger?
If you could wave a magic wand and remove all your anger, would you? In my clinical experience, I hear a lot of people say they would like to be less angry. At the same time, many of these people resist concrete steps that would actually reduce their anger. How do you benefit from your anger? Do… CONTINUE
Taking Responsibility for Anger
What does an angry adult have in common with a teething baby? Both need something to chew on. Angry people imagine they get angry in response to their life experience. People disappoint, life takes unexpected turns. Suffering happens, and an angry person reacts, telling himself/herself that everything would be okay if only unpleasant or unfair things… CONTINUE
When Someone Mistreats You, How Do You Move On?
by James Robbins, M.A., LPC Forgiveness doesn’t work. Neither does forgetting. Why? Because both assume you have been wronged, and that you’re doing someone else a favor by not punishing them for it. “I forgive you ” really means We both know you did something bad, but I am choosing not to give you the… CONTINUE
Do You Suffer from Time Traveling Disorder?
by James Robbins, M.A., LPC Fear and anger are at the core of every negative human emotion, thought and behavior. Depression and anxiety. Financial worries. Relationship struggles and family drama. Health issues, aging and various addictions. Each of these comes down to one of two things: Fear of someone taking something from you in the future. Anger toward someone… CONTINUE
Are Your Values Genuine?
by James Robbins, M.A., LPC What personal value is most important to you? Love, money, health, kindness, career, spirituality, honesty, family? Now consider this: Does your current life reflect this value? Do your daily behaviors, your daily thoughts and feelings, strongly align with this value? If you spend hours daily thinking about money, worrying… CONTINUE
Letting Go of Anger
by James Robbins, M.A., LPC In and of itself, anger is neither good nor bad. It’s just an energy. Anger toward an employer or romantic partner can lend you the courage to leave an unhealthy situation. Anger regarding some social injustice may motivate you to write a check or lend a hand. When you point… CONTINUE
The Five Core Emotions – But Where Is Guilt?
by James Robbins, M.A., LPC Your brain “officially” recognizes five emotions: anger sadness joy fear disgust What about guilt? Guilt is suspiciously missing from this list because guilt is really anger in disguise. I often ask my clients: Who are you guilty at? Suppose you forget your spouse’s birthday. You already feel terrible, and then your spouse… CONTINUE
How Do You Recognize When You Are Lying to Yourself?
by James Robbins, M.A., LPC I used to want to punch people like me. I never trusted vegetarians, and vegans–people who don’t eat meat, fish, eggs or dairy–were obviously idiots. Even driving by a vegetarian restaurant I’d feel a little superior. I might have my own issues in life, but at least I knew enough… CONTINUE
Irritability, Edginess and Depression
by James Robbins, M.A., LPC When you think of depression, you likely think of sadness. You may imagine someone struggling to get out of bed, or slumped teary-eyed in front of the TV. And yes, depression does manifest in such symptoms for many people. However, irritability, edginess and explosive anger are also common signs… CONTINUE