by James Robbins, M.A., LPC The vast majority of romantic relationships are transactional. Consider the most traditional marital “transaction.” The male is the sole breadwinner. He provides financially for the family, keeps everyone physically safe and protects the family from the stresses “out there.” In turn, the female addresses challenges closer to home, the “in… CONTINUE
Do You Check Your Work Email Too Often?
by James Robbins, M.A., LPC Suppose you have a pebble in your shoe. You go to the mall, you walk around shopping, you stop by the food court–but still there’s the pebble in your shoe. You do what you do, but part of your mind remains on this pebble. For many Americans, their work email… CONTINUE
Am I Lazy? And Should I Care?
by James Robbins, M.A., LPC I discourage my clients from using certain words. “Lazy” is one of these. Because what are you really saying when you call yourself or someone else lazy? My dog, she invented lazy. It’s not like she’s forgetting to pay bills or avoiding going to the gym. But mostly she lays… CONTINUE
The 30 Day Challenge
by James Robbins, M.A., LPC Before you know what you’re getting yourself into, choose one of the following: Fitness Creativity Self-Improvement Relationship Recreation Set a goal for yourself within your chosen category. Do you want to take a painting class or guitar lessons or adopt a puppy? Do you want to lose weight or… CONTINUE
Good Partner Bad Partner
by James Robbins, M.A., LPC “I don’t know why, but my partner changed. Around 2 years into the relationship, it’s like he/she became an entirely different person from the one I fell in love with.” As a couples counselor, I hear this all the time. In fact, it’s the rule rather than the exception in… CONTINUE
Does Mr. Happy Make You Sad?
by James Robbins, M.A., LPC They have a saying in India. “When a pickpocket meets a saint, all he sees are pockets.” While I am no saint, I do have a magic t-shirt. I’m not sure what makes it magic, but every time I wear it, people can’t help commenting. Rescued from the Walmart sales… CONTINUE
Is Thinking Overrated?
by James Robbins, M.A., LPC You think too much. Although handy in a pinch, more thinking is rarely the answer. When you’re $50 short on rent, thinking helps you make ends meet. When you’re driving from Milwaukee to San Antonio and your GPS goes on the fritz, thinking is your friend. Concrete problems that require… CONTINUE
The Positive Politics Challenge
by James Robbins, M.A., LPC Picture this scenario: You’re at a party. It’s late. A small group of party-goers is tucked into a corner somewhere, enjoying adult beverages. This group is laughing, clapping each other on the back, having an all-around great time. They’re talking politics. Not arguing, not criticizing various candidates, but expressing what… CONTINUE
Are You a Relationship Expert?
by James Robbins, M.A., LPC, Maybe you consider yourself good at relationships. Maybe you don’t. But even if you are a relationship expert, you are not the relationship expert in your relationship. If you were, then you wouldn’t be in that relationship. When you are in a serious relationship, this is–by definition–the very best relationship you… CONTINUE
You Should Quit “Shoulding” Yourself
by James Robbins, M.A., LPC, Being a better person is highly overrated. It tends to involve a lot of “shoulds.” You should eat less salt. You should drive with your hands at 10 and 2. You should sit at least three feet from all electronic devices and never swim after eating spaghetti. In the therapy world, we… CONTINUE