You do certain things you feel good about, things you don’t mind the whole world knowing. You eat broccoli every day, for example. Strictly for the sake of communication, let’s call these “good deeds.” And you do certain things you don’t feel so great about, things you’d rather not publicize. You eat a dozen donuts every […]
Lightening Your Load
Suppose you decide to hike up a mountain trail. Before you embark on your journey, you load your backpack with rocks. You plan to use these rocks to build a sturdy shelter once you reach the top of the mountain. Halfway up, you are feeling exhausted. You decide to load some more rocks into your […]
Overcoming Guilt
Your mother guilts you into attending a family function. Your boss guilts you into working late. What does it mean to be guilted into something? When you do something out of guilt, you’re not doing anyone any favors. Anything done out of guilt leads to resentment. Period. So when you loan your best friend money […]
Is There an Upside to Anger?
If you could wave a magic wand and remove all your anger, would you? In my clinical experience, I hear a lot of people say they would like to be less angry. At the same time, many of these people resist concrete steps that would actually reduce their anger. How do you benefit from your anger? Do […]
Working Through Family Conflict
There is your family-of-origin, your parents and siblings. Then there is the family you choose, your romantic partner and kids. If you belong to both of these groups, you will inevitably find yourself caught between the two at some point. More often than not, I encourage my clients to align with their chosen family when tensions […]
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