I’m so over it. Anyone who say this is, by definition, not over it. Therapists call this a reaction formation. Suppose you start a new job, only to discover your new boss is kind of an obvious jerk. But now you’re stuck with this guy. So maybe you do your best to convince yourself you admire his arrogance or enjoy his “colorful” […]
Suffering is Optional
Pain is inevitable. Suffering is not. What’s the difference? You stub your toe. A wave of unpleasant physical sensation radiates from your toe, up your leg, and out your mouth in the form of a colorful exclamation. The whole things is over within seconds. This is pain. But then your internal dialogue starts up. You […]
Finding Your Center
I have conducted hundreds of Rolling Stone interviews. In my mind. This was a favorite pastime in my early twenties. While standing in line at the grocery store, or stuck in rush hour traffic, I would enjoy extensive imaginary discussions of my grand musical powers. James, can you please tell Rolling Stone readers how you first came to realize you […]
Changing versus Accepting
Suppose you want to eat less chocolate cake. You can put 100% energy and focus into this issue. You can read about the hazards of chocolate cake. You can visit with a nutritionist. You can keep the refrigerator stocked with vegetables. Or you can go the other way. You can recognize that eating chocolate cake […]
How Much Should You Trust Authority Figures?
Growing up, I tended to mistrust authority figures. This hasn’t changed much since I’ve become a so-called authority figure. Just because someone has a counseling degree on his wall doesn’t make him wise. Just because someone wears a white coat doesn’t make her healthy. Just because someone wears a badge doesn’t make him just. We […]