I had a cat who compulsively pawed at her own shadow on the wall. Sometimes this habit seemed to entertain her. Sometimes it seemed to frighten her. The thing was, however frantically she pawed at that shadow, it pawed back just as frantically. My cat never seemed to figure out that the only way to […]
Why Do People Choose the Wrong Romantic Partners?
“Please accept my resignation. I don’t want to belong to any club that will accept people like me as a member.” When comedian Groucho Marx wrote this, he was expressing a peculiar, yet very common, human trait. A lot of individuals reflexively distrust people that truly appreciate them. As a therapist, I see this a lot […]
Balancing Your Relationship
In most romantic relationships, there are two roles: the pursuer and the pursued. When these roles are out of balance, the relationship suffers. The pursuer wants more togetherness. She wants more quality time with her partner, more communication, more physical and emotional closeness. She wants more commitment, and often feels she isn’t the main priority […]
How Common is Cheating?
by James Robbins, M.A., LPC Did you know that about 25% of American couples will experience one or both members cheating at some point in their relationship? Although men were historically more likely to cheat, this gap is narrowing. Female infidelity is on the rise, with women cheating nearly as […]
Show Appreciation — Even if You Have to Fake it at First
by James Robbins, M.A., LPC If you’re in a serious romantic relationship and you’re not complimenting your partner every day, you’re missing the low-hanging fruit. Relationships are hard work, but this part can be easy–if you let it. So your spouse can’t keep a job. This is a problem. But your spouse also makes […]
