I’m so over it. Anyone who say this is, by definition, not over it. Therapists call this a reaction formation. Suppose you start a new job, only to discover your new boss is kind of an obvious jerk. But now you’re stuck with this guy. So maybe you do your best to convince yourself you admire his arrogance or enjoy his “colorful” […]
Suffering is Optional
Pain is inevitable. Suffering is not. What’s the difference? You stub your toe. A wave of unpleasant physical sensation radiates from your toe, up your leg, and out your mouth in the form of a colorful exclamation. The whole things is over within seconds. This is pain. But then your internal dialogue starts up. You […]
What is Active Listening?
As a general rule, being a good listener will do more for you than being a good talker. One key to effective listening is using reflective, or mirroring statements. Suppose you call your credit card company to dispute a charge. The customer service rep does not immediately say, “We apologize for our mistake, as we […]
Why So Much Drama?
You say you want less drama in your life. Yet you find yourself in one dramatic scenario after another. What gives? Generally speaking, drama isn’t something that just happens to you. It’s something you invite into your life, albeit unconsciously. When you truly desire a low-drama lifestyle, you will have a low-drama lifestyle. The first step is recognizing the ways in which you create and […]
Finding Your Center
I have conducted hundreds of Rolling Stone interviews. In my mind. This was a favorite pastime in my early twenties. While standing in line at the grocery store, or stuck in rush hour traffic, I would enjoy extensive imaginary discussions of my grand musical powers. James, can you please tell Rolling Stone readers how you first came to realize you […]
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