You can’t un-send that text. You can’t un-say those words. You can’t un-punch that wall. Once it’s out there, it’s out there. Sometimes emotional energy feels like it MUST BE expressed! Rage and resentment. Anxiety, fear, desperation. These feelings can be so intense they make your heart pound. They make your face twitch. This energy… CONTINUE
About James Robbins, M.A., LPC
Anger: Freeing Yourself from the Feedback Loop
Have you ever woke from a dream angry? Even though the events that angered you were imaginary, it can take a while to shake this irrational feeling. Anger hijacks your nervous system. And once it takes over, it tries to keep feeding itself. It’s as if anger gets stored in your body, demanding that you… CONTINUE
Be Your Own Mentor
Think back ten years ago. What was most important to you at that time? What kinds of things did you worry about? How did you feel when you got out of bed each morning? No doubt you’ve learned a lot since then. If you could travel back in time and give your younger self advice,… CONTINUE
What Does it Really Mean to Take Responsibility?
People tend to confuse taking responsibility with accepting shame and guilt. What’s the difference? Recognizing Consequences Taking responsibility is about self-awareness. You admit to yourself that some action you’ve taken has led to pain and suffering for you or someone else. When you realize fire burns your hand, and when you can admit you keep putting your hand… CONTINUE
The Key to Happiness Is Closer Than You Think
As a therapist, I often ask myself a fundamental question: Is there some essential trait or circumstance that my happiest, most well-adjusted clients have in common? It’s certainly not financial success or professional accomplishments. It’s not religious affiliation, or lack thereof. It’s not physical beauty or even health. It’s not having a big supportive family or being… CONTINUE
Managing your Chronic Worry
I have a lousy clothes dryer. When I load it with wet towels, they tumble around for hours and hours, but nothing especially useful happens. The anxious mind works like this. Worrisome thoughts spin round and round, round and round, but they never really get “dry.” More thinking is rarely the answer. Identifying Categories Anxious… CONTINUE
Learning from Two Kinds of Teachers
Learning is a lifelong process. Much of what you learn, you learn from other people. Throughout your life, you will encounter two kinds of teachers: subject area teachers and Big Picture teachers. Subject Area Teachers Suppose you are passionate about baking pies. So you seek out a subject area mentor. You find someone who has… CONTINUE
How Good Are You at Your Job?
In television there’s a rule: the main character must be good at his job. He can be a serial killer, a meth dealer–but he has to be an unusually skilled serial killer or meth dealer. Apparently, it’s very difficult for TV viewers to identify with a character who isn’t great at his job. But why?… CONTINUE
What Can You Learn from Your Best (and Worst) Relationships?
I had a cat who compulsively pawed at her own shadow on the wall. Sometimes this habit seemed to entertain her. Sometimes it seemed to frighten her. The thing was, however frantically she pawed at that shadow, it pawed back just as frantically. My cat never seemed to figure out that the only way to… CONTINUE
Making Peace with Your Choices
You have a day off from your stressful job. Part of you wants to spend the day at the park relaxing. The other part of you feels like you should stay home and clean out your garage. So you go to the park, but the whole time you’re thinking you should have stayed home to… CONTINUE
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