It’s commonplace these days to talk about psychological defense mechanisms – usually when we’re referring to someone else. “I tried to talk things out with my spouse, but she was way too defensive to really hear me.” So most of us agree that psychological defenses are a real thing. But what exactly is a psychological… CONTINUE
About James Robbins, M.A., LPC
Obsessed with Drama? Recognize Your Self-Defeating Patterns
Most people say they want less drama in their life. Yet, from the outside looking in, we observe other people repeatedly making life choices that keep strapping them into the roller coaster ride. What does it mean to be obsessed with drama? Although I no longer drink alcohol, I was a heavy drinker for a… CONTINUE
3 Keys to Getting More Out of Your Relationships
Resolving Conflicts and Letting Go Power Struggles It’s all too easy to fall into negative habits with the people you are closest to, or work closely with. Your spouse, your family, your co-workers. When you spend a lot of time with someone, and when you share common goals, a sense of mutual dependency tends to… CONTINUE
Giving Constructive Criticism: Walking the Fine Line Between Condescending and Caving In
It’s not easy to communicate negative feedback in a helpful way. Many people err by going too far in one direction or another. Maybe you go “too soft,” tending to altogether avoid giving negative feedback. Your waiter brings you the wrong dish, but you decide to eat it anyway because you don’t want to cause… CONTINUE
COVID-19: Is There an Upside?
With the outbreak of COVID-19, there have been a lot of challenges, a lot of anxiety, a lot of lifestyle shakeups. But among the many obvious downsides to COVID-19, are there any upsides? I can admit it: I am addicted to my gym. Prior to COVID-19, I was there 6-7 days a week. Cardio, yoga,… CONTINUE
The Fine Art of Being Unproductive: Overcoming The Challenge to Getting Things Done
Hard work is not holy. Without a doubt, being able to work hard when you need to is a virtue. It definitely comes in handy in a variety of life situations. But working hard just because you can, or just because you feel the need to do something, isn’t necessarily a great thing. In fact,… CONTINUE
COVID-19 and Distress Tolerance: 2 Key Ways to Overcome Anxiety
People don’t like uncertainty. We like to control things. We like predictable outcomes. But as COVID-19 has reminded us, certain outcomes are simply beyond our control or ability to predict. In the face of uncertainty, we tend to feel anxious. We want to do something productive. We want to fix the problem. With COVID-19, you… CONTINUE
Resisting Your Self-Defeating Impulses Through Dangerous Journaling
You can’t un-send that text. You can’t un-say those words. You can’t un-punch that wall. Once it’s out there, it’s out there. Sometimes emotional energy feels like it MUST BE expressed! Rage and resentment. Anxiety, fear, desperation. These feelings can be so intense they make your heart pound. They make your face twitch. This energy… CONTINUE
Anger: Freeing Yourself from the Feedback Loop
Have you ever woke from a dream angry? Even though the events that angered you were imaginary, it can take a while to shake this irrational feeling. Anger hijacks your nervous system. And once it takes over, it tries to keep feeding itself. It’s as if anger gets stored in your body, demanding that you… CONTINUE
Be Your Own Mentor
Think back ten years ago. What was most important to you at that time? What kinds of things did you worry about? How did you feel when you got out of bed each morning? No doubt you’ve learned a lot since then. If you could travel back in time and give your younger self advice,… CONTINUE
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