Romantic relationships tend to revolve around power struggles. Even when you manage to resolve a longstanding issue–sex, money, parenting, in-laws, quality time, whatever–another one tends to pop up to take its place. This is because power struggles aren’t really about particular content so much as the need to be right, the need to win. Ultimately, no […]
Approval Seeking
Few things are less satisfying than the approval of others. Do you want to impress your boss, your neighbors, your friends? Do you want to make your family proud? You can easily spend your whole life chasing a few encouraging words from important people in your life. And even if you do manage to catch […]
Do Opposites Attract?
People are often drawn to romantic partners that balance their own qualities in some way. For example, if you are a spontaneous person, you may be attracted to someone who is especially structured. If you are a chronic worrier, you may be attracted to someone who is especially calm. In this sense, opposites often attract. […]
Dealing with Repeated Cheating and Infidelity
Every “serial cheater” requires a “serial truster.” If your partner is repeatedly unfaithful, feeling like a victim won’t get you anywhere. Neither will looking the other way again and again. You don’t get points for ignoring the obvious. Looking the other way doesn’t make you generous or kind–it just makes you avoidant of the truth. […]
What is Active Listening?
As a general rule, being a good listener will do more for you than being a good talker. One key to effective listening is using reflective, or mirroring statements. Suppose you call your credit card company to dispute a charge. The customer service rep does not immediately say, “We apologize for our mistake, as we […]
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