Should you take your parents’ advice? That depends. Before you answer this question, ask yourself another: How well do you really know your parents? It’s perfectly natural and healthy to go through a phase of feeling like your father is Superman or your mother is Wonder Woman. You idealize your parents in childhood because you […]
Overcoming Guilt
Your mother guilts you into attending a family function. Your boss guilts you into working late. What does it mean to be guilted into something? When you do something out of guilt, you’re not doing anyone any favors. Anything done out of guilt leads to resentment. Period. So when you loan your best friend money […]
Working Through Family Conflict
There is your family-of-origin, your parents and siblings. Then there is the family you choose, your romantic partner and kids. If you belong to both of these groups, you will inevitably find yourself caught between the two at some point. More often than not, I encourage my clients to align with their chosen family when tensions […]
Dealing with Dishonesty in a Relationship
You will meet two types of people in life: people who are basically honest, and people who are not. Being able to distinguish between the two is important–especially when it comes to choosing a romantic partner. (After all, it’s not like a dishonest person is going to tell you he or she is dishonest upfront.) If […]
Insecure Versus Confident Groups
In my undergraduate years, by day I studied classical music at the University of Texas at Austin. By night I played in a big-haired rock band. Having the freedom to move between these two musical worlds, I noticed something interesting. The most talented musicians of either style, classical or rock, tended to appreciate the widest […]
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