Most close relationships are sabotaged to one degree or another by power struggles. This is especially true when it comes to family and romantic partners. A power struggle is focused on winning–even when “winning” requires self-defeating behaviors. You prefer Tex-Mex food, your partner prefers Italian. But the two of you rarely go out for Tex-Mex, because […]
Is Email Really Worth It?
Email represents a major step forward in human communication, and has made all of our lives much more convenient and efficient. Right? Twenty years or so ago when email started to take over the world, it seemed to promise a new era of time-saving correspondence. If you wanted to communicate with someone on the other side of […]
Are You Selfish or Selfless?
There is only one surefire cure for selfishness: getting even better at it. Suppose your tribe lives in a small village. The neighboring village catches fire. What do you do? You can be selfish. You can tell yourself you didn’t start this fire, so it’s not your responsibility to put it out. Maybe you never […]
Staying Centered when Everything Goes Wrong
by James Robbins, M.A., LPC Happiness is not a “cure” for unhappiness–no more than day is a “cure” for night. It’s human nature to seek more and more happiness while trying (rather desperately at times) to avoid unhappiness. But happy and unhappy are part of a natural cycle. Life is up. Life is down. Things […]
Making Amends
by James Robbins, M.A., LPC A sincere apology is always a good place to start, but “making amends” is even better. Suppose you bark at your spouse for no good reason. Try this: Own your mistake. Simply say “‘I’m sorry I was irritable earlier. I realize it upsets you when I raise my voice.” […]
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